if a tree falls

The Emmys

Last weekend Joe bought a tux in preparation for a black tie wedding that we'll be attending in November. However, he realized last night that he hadn't tried it on completely. Naturally, he tried the jacket on in the store, but needed to know that the shirt and pants fit as well. As he did this, I sat watching the Emmys (which, by the way, had some moments, but not nearly enough good ones). I realized that my husband was dressed for the occasion and he foolishly agreed to pose as if he were attending the ceremony. And no, I didn't have anything to drink. I was that bored.

He was this bored:
 

Once a little brother, always a little brother

On Friday I joined Facebook to reconnect with friends and widen my networking sphere for spreading the word about my business. Overall, it's a much better experience than my  foray into MySpace. Today I showed Joe my profile, as well as the ways to find friends online.

Joe: What does "Poke him!" mean?

Mel: I don't know. Don't poke him!

Joe: Why?

Mel: Because it sends him a message and I haven't seen that kid since high school. Plus, I don't exactly know what it does.

Joe: Can I poke Evan?

Mel: No! I already friended him! This is my Facebook profile! If you want to poke people, get your own. Here, poke Liza. That's what sisters are for.

Joe: Poke.

Mel: There. Are you happy?

Joe: I guess...

So much to say

This is why I should write more often. The thoughts build up and then there's too much to say. Where to start? To practice economic word choice, some haiku (inspiration from Heath):

hypothyroidism
is my new diagnosis
more energy soon

doctor from "Knocked Up"
made me afraid of childbirth
TLC helps

setback, leap ahead
launching Attic Ink is work
website finished soon

love the patio
friends and family come to sit
and freckles return

company picnic
american scream machine
gotta love summer

I'm a better cook
impressed the mother-in-law
when I made dinner

wedding season starts
with a shower in CT
chitchat and omelettes

Sopranos fade black
old posts get tons of new hits
Holsten's is famous

Paris goes to jail
doesn't pass go or collect
$200

Thanks for humoring me.

Rainy Sunday

Despite the fact that the ongoing extreme weather has created a lot of chaos, my rainy Sunday was blissfully uneventful. It was like a snow day without all the cleanup. Joe and I watched a lot of TV, played a lot of video games and did a lot of couch-sitting. Top five moments are below.

5 - Nancy Giles' call for a more diverse broadcast news media, in light of Imusgate. [CBS Sunday morning]

4 - Joe's Tiger Woods golf game victory dances. He and his avatar did exactly the same thing on some holes.

3 - SNL's digital short. Shia LeBoeuf did a really good job on the episode in general, but the use of Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" (first heard on TV on The O.C. at Caleb's funeral) was fantastic. Honorable mentions go to the Dakota Fanning show and "An intimate moment with Jessica Simpson and John Mayer."

2 - Super Paper Mario's old school gaming/new school controls approach. I played for three hours and could have gone on much longer without feeling like I was suffering from brain rot or general Nintendo-induced crankiness.

1 - Sydney Pollack as Johnny Sack's medically-trained prison confidante on The Sopranos. In one episode, he created a fantastic character.

Bad Joke Friday

I love bad jokes. I blame my childhood love of the Muppet Show for this. Perhaps it was a misguided impression that Fozzie was really a good comedian, or just the vaudevillian/Henson nonsensical abusrdity. Actually, thinking about it, I love alternately absurd, clever, and completely stupid humor. This is not unrelated to an affection for the late Kurt Vonnegut.

The Muppet Show (mahna mahna)  led to a discovery of Monty Python (Ni!) in high school, which evolved into an obsession with Eddie Izzard (Winglebert Humptiback). Here is an evolution of jokes that have cracked me up over the course of my life (some have to be read out loud to be funny). The last one has been running in a local radio ad, and I am ashamed  to say that I crack up every time I hear it. What can I say, it's hard wired.

1985
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence.

1995
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino?
'Ell if I know.

2005
Two peanuts walked down the street.
One was assaulted.

What's your favorite bad joke?

Recipe for a smile on a Wednesday morning

Add husband home from four-day business trip, small fuzzy friend and fleece blanket to most comfortable couch with Today Show on with the volume down.

When ready to go back to sleep, move contents to kitchen. Add bagels and juice.

Extract husband. Open work e-mail. Frown and furrow brow.

Whip up conversation with Amy about her trip to South Africa via IM.

Compose text for work. Note quietness. Turn radio switch to on.

Add final verse of They Might Be Giants' "Istanbul."

Don't pop a sprog

I am a huge Anglophile. I don't pretend not to be. I love British music, culture, history, accents, architecture, literature, beer, fish, chips, curry, all of it. I can be quite obnoxious about it at times.

So it made my day yesterday to get a second misdirected e-mail from England. Both were sent to an e-mail address that I use for anonymity and spam-tracking, writeto[popular girl's name]@gmail.com. The first was to a staffer at a landscaping company about a misplaced tree, contracts, whatever. Not at all entertaining. But when I saw the following subject line in my Inbox, I was oddly titillated.

Laura's Hen Do!! 12th May

Translation: Bachelorette party invitation!

The message contains excellent use of Britishisms. Below is an excerpt, mostly for my own entertainment:

unfortunately will be quite close to popping a sprog so will probably not manage to get up from the table to go dancing, but hope that Laura with your help will be able to have a fine time in the final hours of her being a sweet (and not so innocent) young maiden!!

I wasn't even really invited, but I'm excited about a day at the spa in Bath. If anyone feels like a trip over the pond in mid-May, let me know.